How to Behead Etc. Your Characters Cont’d

So, you’ve found who you want to kill. Whether your character beheads them, snaps their neck or wooses out and only maims, please be sure to inform the reader what’s happened. Leave no room for doubt. Is there blood, tissue, etc? What does your character see, smell, taste and touch during this scene? They must be hypersensitive to their surroundings in order for your reader to feel anything at all.

“Open!” The door rattled. “Damn door.”
Aiyu risked another step. The traitor kicked the locked door. Aiyu edged closer. He couldn’t believe one of Xien Ye’s citizens would do this. The familiar odor of pig wafted toward him.
Voice and smell locked into place and Aiyu knew this man. This was a butcher from Xien Ye’s marketplace. When Aiyu and Zhang picked up their supplies, this man had sneered at and then insulted Zhang.
Zhang had hoisted up the little man by his lapels and shook him like a captured rodent until Aiyu had thought the man’s neck might break. The butcher had stammered an apology and Zhang released him.
The traitor was part of Zhang’s guild.
“Why won’t you open?” The merchant rattled the door. “Six strings of cash-“
In Aiyu’s mind, Liu Yoh’s white face, and Haga’s lifeless eyes flashed. Those men died for the people of Xien Ye – for this traitor.
“Grrraa!” Aiyu launched. He wished he hadn’t shouted. Too late.
The enemy whirled and blew tallow in Aiyu’s face. The flash of light let Aiyu glimpse the butcher’s thin, corded arms. One of them flailed and Aiyu’s knife clattered to the floor.
The boy ducked as the candle guttered out. Aiyu crouched on the floor until he found the traitor’s feet. Aiyu kicked up and smashed his foot into the man’s crotch.
The butcher collapsed with a grunt.
In a fury of searching fingers, Aiyu grasped the traitor’s head. He twisted hard. The neck cracked, and Aiyu leg go of the wobbly, detached head in his hands. The butcher slumped.
Aiyu struck the tunnel wall. Again. Again. He’d split his knuckles. His sobs of pain sounded distant — disconnected from himself. Rage surged again and he screamed. He took aim where he thought his victim lay and spat.
Aiyu thought he heard the spittle smack the butcher’s flesh. He stumbled the way he had come in.




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6 Responses to “How to Behead Etc. Your Characters Cont’d”

  1. ClothDragon says:

    Hi, I came to visit. I don't mind violence. The stone lizard/dragon was in the Denver airport where we nearly missed a connecting flight so I could snuggle with it. Crossed Genres is having an Eastern Writing theme coming up in February, I think. (

  2. Victoria Dixon says:

    Oh God Bless you for that! Thanks! I'll post it here and go check it out. 🙂

    And I probably would have been in line behind you and missed my flight altogether. LOL When was it there?

  3. Dara says:

    Even though my MC in my book is a bit on the violent side, she doesn't behead people. More like freezes their blood in their veins…I've had to imagine through her eyes what she'd witness as the person was slowly freezing to death.

    I'm not sure I could write a graphic death. I'm rather sensitive to violence. I've nearly thrown up in movies that have graphic scenes. 😛

  4. Victoria Dixon says:

    Whereas I've had to warn the faint of heart before reading passages aloud. They kept on about my graphic deaths. When I finally got to the big bad battle, I told them they might want to leave temporarily if they really were disturbed. No one did. LOL One reader liked feeling the blood on his face and hands. That was a tad disturbing….

  5. ClothDragon says:

    I think it stays there. At least it didn't have artist signs like it was a temporary display. There were several. I remember a snake. Maybe a less prickly lizard too? Lobby art, type stuff. We barely had time to stop for one, let alone really look at the others though. If you ever fly through Denver, make sure it's a long layover and explore a little and you'll probably find them. We found them running from a late plane to an on-time plane so it shouldn't be hard.

  6. Victoria Dixon says:

    If I know my hubby, we'll drive through the entire state of Kansas (hitting the amazing number of zoos and bone-digging sites along the way) and go to the Denver airport as part of our site-seeing tour. ;D

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