Happy New Year!

Yeah, I’ll be wishing you another one in a few weeks, but Happy New Year, folks! I will see you next year. ;D

What Do You Fear?

My reading has sparked interesting self-introspection, but I’ve decided I need to face my fears.

When I was an eight-year-old child, I came home and found my dog had hung himself. (He was a fence climber, so we had tied him inside the enclosure.) I tried to get him down, but he was already stiff. I must have been in a formative development stage because this has haunted me and shaped me in uncomfortable ways. But I’ve come to the conclusion this morning that I WANTED it to.

This makes me squirm. Why do I cling to this agonizing fear of loss? So much so, that I made it my hero’s main flaw. This is not who I am! What’s worse, it has taken me over so much that there are days I find it hard to operate because of the what ifs. Part of me shrugs and says “What ifs are a part writing, therefore, your fear has made you a writer. Don’t knock it.” I choose not to believe that. God made me a writer.

I must find a way out my self-made fear of losing loved ones before I am undone, but I know I am not alone in using my fears as a crutch or as a resource.

Today’s homespun therapy question is: What do you fear and how do you use it?

Agent Marietta Zacker Answers Your Questions

You’ll want to scroll down through this really long blog entry, but it might be worth it to you. Especially if there’s a chance you write stories for children or young adults. The agent will respond to questions once a day through December 16th.

New Film Adaptation

An online aquaintance sent this to me:

Just saw this on wikipedia: The film version of Snow Flower and the Secret Fan (Book by Lisa See)will be directed by Wayne Wang in early 2010. Original script adaptation by Angela Workman. Revised by Wayne Wang and Michael Ray. Produced by Florence Sloan, Wendi Murdoch and Zhang Ziyi, to star Zhang. Sounds interesting.

Interesting indeed! I loved this book, though I usually dislike the time period used in the novel. The events of the war only touch on the last twenty or thirty pages of the novel, so it’s mostly about the friendship of two women. It’s poignant and extraordinary. I look forward to the movie. Many thanks to Kristen for letting me know!

Part Three: Beheading, Necksnapping

And now, the conclusion because I know you’re all wanting to know how I could redeem this situation. 🙂

To recap, Aiyu is one of my secondary characters. He’s a thirteen-year-old orphan who serves in a battle for his kingdom. He started this novel as an innocent. Lets see how far he’s come by the end of this scene, which is 3/4 of the way through the book.

Outside the tunnel’s claustrophobic embrace, the smell of blood filled Aiyu’s nostrils. Haga’s life pooled and Aiyu blindly slipped in it. He clutched the bloody, damp earth at his feet.
The stench of blood hung on him. His vision adjusted to see Haga’s sightless eyes staring into his. Aiyu recoiled. Haga’s expression was too empty to bear.
Aiyu turned and threw up in a bush. He trembled, shaking his head at the thought that he had killed with his bare hands.
His mind whirled, confused. The traitor was dead and that was good. But what had happened to Hong Aiyu? Was he a murderer now? He gagged once more and crawled to his friend’s corpse.
He arranged poor Haga’s body in an appropriate posture for the funeral pyre of Xien Ye.
“I’m sorry,” Aiyu whispered. He dug in his girdle until he found what he wanted. Six wooden dice with red and black painted dots. He placed them on Haga’s chest.
I’m not a murderer. Not a mourner. I’m another victim.
He ran to escape the memory of Haga’s simple grin and trusting expression, his empty eyes and cooling fingers.
Aiyu would play sixes no more.

End of Chapter

Yes, it’s horrific, (war is like that) but I didn’t end the chapter with the butcher’s death. That would have left the reader with a flat, unfinished taste in his mouth. Aiyu has gone from an innocent who refused to kill the enemy in battle, to killing in his master’s defense (an earlier scene) to a vengeance murder, although he also defends an entire city in killing the butcher here. I use these situations to show:
1. The horror of battle, thereby grounding the reader in my book’s reality
2. What battle/killing does to a soul – the emotional growth quotient, which further grounds the reader. (If your character doesn’t grow and change with AT LEAST every major event in your book, you’ve missed a great opportunity and your reader will cease to believe in your characters.)
3. The advancing plot

Now you can rail on me for my sense of violence and inpropriety in having a thirteen-year-old boy in such situations. LOL Seriously, if there’s anything you feel would improve this scene, please let me know.