What Do You Fear?

My reading has sparked interesting self-introspection, but I’ve decided I need to face my fears.

When I was an eight-year-old child, I came home and found my dog had hung himself. (He was a fence climber, so we had tied him inside the enclosure.) I tried to get him down, but he was already stiff. I must have been in a formative development stage because this has haunted me and shaped me in uncomfortable ways. But I’ve come to the conclusion this morning that I WANTED it to.

This makes me squirm. Why do I cling to this agonizing fear of loss? So much so, that I made it my hero’s main flaw. This is not who I am! What’s worse, it has taken me over so much that there are days I find it hard to operate because of the what ifs. Part of me shrugs and says “What ifs are a part writing, therefore, your fear has made you a writer. Don’t knock it.” I choose not to believe that. God made me a writer.

I must find a way out my self-made fear of losing loved ones before I am undone, but I know I am not alone in using my fears as a crutch or as a resource.

Today’s homespun therapy question is: What do you fear and how do you use it?